


texts from last night

by twohourstraffic



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Multimedia, Slice of Life, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14407656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twohourstraffic/pseuds/twohourstraffic
Summary: “AU where each update is based on a random Texts From Last Night post with no resolutions ever posted”. Honestly, this just sounded like fun.





	1. game day

**Author's Note:**

> That’s right, motherheckers. Strap in, because we’re going multimedia. This will include emails, Facebook messages, Tweets etc. because doesn’t that just make the story-telling more fun? This is set during Bitty’s second year. I’ll put the texts by themselves in the note at the end if you’d like to try and work out which of these things I didn’t write.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitty live-tweets a game day.

> **@ericbittle:** Happy Saturday!!! Happy sleep-in!!!! Happy not-having-to-get-up-at-5am!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> **@ericbittle:** As promised, I’m going to livetweet this game day! Lots of you have sent me messages wondering what ~a day in the life looks like. It’s not super interesting but if Chrissy Teigen can do it…..
> 
> **@ericbittle:** We’ve got a Saturday night home game which is honestly one of my favorite things. Still leaves Sunday to chill, we don’t have to get up at the asscrack of dawn like for an afternoon game etc.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** I head downstairs around 8:15 to find …... Jack sitting at the kitchen table, on his laptop, angrily eating a banana.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** This boy is honestly the only person that I know who sits at the table with his laptop instead of a phone???? What a dad.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** “......... Everything OK, Jack?” “Yeah no it’s just that --” [enter five minute rant about some scandal that has just shaken the golf world]
> 
> **@ericbittle:** I wish I could explain it to you but Ransom just walked in, saw Jack and yelled “I know!” and so they’re being angry golf buddies and tbh who cares.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** While they do their thing, I’m making muffins because duh. Also, most of the boys are coming over at 9:00 and if I don’t feed them there will be disappointment.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** We’re doing a banana walnut and also a blueberry and I think I might have enough batter to do a chocolate chips/coconut version because let’s just shake things up a bit.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** 8:45, the frogs arrive and are immediately put on fruit chopping duty. Nursey is told to make coffee because he almost cut off his pinkie last time and I can’t take the strain.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** OK so now it’s 10 and we’re all heading over to the rink for optional skate. I mean, it’s technically optional but also Jack will be Very Disappointed if u don’t go so it’s just easier this way.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** I’m walking between Ransom and Holster who are trying to stop Jack from chirping me because he is CRUEL and VICIOUS and has NO IDEA about SOCIAL MEDIA.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Aaaaaaand skate is over. That was so hard, oh my goodness. Drills for dayzzzzz.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Now honestly it’s naptime but first it’s showertime because I smell. So. Bad.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Not as bad as some people but still. I’m not going to make my room put up with this.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** OK so now it’s 2:30 and I guess I should get some classwork done but also there’s a new episode of Brooklyn 99 on Hulu so.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** I swear, this theme song is like a magnet for loud hockey players. Holster: Wait is that -- NEW EP. RANSOM, THERE’S A NEW BROOKLYN 99!!!!! Ransom: GIMME A SEC  I’M GETTING THE POPCORN. SHITTY THERE’S A NEW BROOKLYN 99!!!!!!
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Shitty: ONE MINUTE I’M JUST ON THE PHONE!!!!! MOM I HAVE TO GO!!!!!
> 
> **@ericbittle:** So we’ve moved down to the couch and Jack is pretending not to watch but I hear him laugh at the jokes!!! I hear him!!!!!!!!!
> 
> **@ericbittle:** And of course there’s a new Bob’s Burgers too so the moral of this story is there is a REASON why none of my college work ever gets done and it’s that Hulu enables me.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** OK so Hulu suggested that I start Community which I’ve heard is rly good but then Shitty grabbed me and pulled me physically away from the TV and Holster’s encouragement.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** So now I’m cobbling together a pre-game snack which is bologna wrapped around a cheese string because the fridge is empty. Protein!!!!!!
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Jack: That looks disgusting. Me: I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** Off to the rink now! I’ll probably have to focus on important things such as playing the game and winning the game and trying not to be checked onto my face in the game, but I’ll check in before bed.
> 
> **@ericbittle:** We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer."


	2. haus party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitty dances to The Killers.

**group chat: partay people**

> **Shitty:** GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!!!
> 
> **Shitty:** HI FROM JACK’S BED WHERE I APPARENTLY SPENT THE NIGHT!!!!!
> 
> **Shitty:** DID WE ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME?????????
> 
> **Bitty:** can u not 
> 
> **Bitty:** ur capslock is so loud
> 
> **Jack:** Morning, Bittle
> 
> **Bitty:** hello jack 
> 
> **Bitty:** wow my head is POUNDING what time did i go to bed 
> 
> **Shitty:** rans and i brought you up at around 11 but i think you were still awake for a while
> 
> **Jack:** Oh, he was.
> 
> **Bitty:** what does that mean
> 
> **Bitty:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN JACK 
> 
> **Holster:** holy shit what did he do??????????
> 
> **Holster:** i’m waiting with baited breath, i’ve woken rans etc. 
> 
> **Ransom:** CAN CONFIRM 
> 
> **Ransom:** JACK PLS TELL US SO I CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP AND/OR DRINK SOME FLUIDS BEFORE MY EYES EXPLODE 
> 
> **Shitty:** not to call out my best bro but you guys he’s been typing this entire time
> 
> **Holster:** lmao jack fr????
> 
> **Bitty:** oh honey
> 
> **Bitty:** pls just let me know so i can die in peace
> 
> **Jack:** I came upstairs to go to the bathroom and you’d gone to bed but then you came out of your room in your underwear and 
> 
> **Bitty:** AND WHAT JACK
> 
> **Jack:** Sorry, I accidentally hit send.
> 
> **Holster:** JAKC THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME PLS JUST TELL USS
> 
> **Jack:** When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
> 
> **Holster:** L 
> 
> **Holster:** M 
> 
> **Holster:** F 
> 
> **Holster:** A 
> 
> **Holster:** O
> 
> **Ransom:** GET IT BITS 
> 
> **Bitty:** Jack i’m so so so sorry that i drunk half-naked danced in front of u 
> 
> **Jack:** I’ve seen worse ;) 
> 
> **Shitty:** WAS THAT A WINKY FACE 
> 
> **Jack:** Sorry I was trying for a normal smile 
> 
> **Holster:** SURE U WERE 
> 
> **Bitty:** oh my god jack i’m so sorry 
> 
> **Ransom:** Don’t leave us hanging bro, what song was it?????
> 
> **Jack:** Oh, um … 
> 
> **Shitty:** “What’s that song that goes duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh? You know, the one.” 
> 
> **Shitty:** I think he means mr brightside
> 
> **Lardo:** would you fuckers stop texting my phone is making SO MUCH NOISE 
> 
> **Holster:** sozlol but apparently bitty was drunk underwear dancing to mr brightside last night so 
> 
> **Lardo:** GET IT BITS 
> 
> **Ransom:** jinx bb
> 
> **Lardo:** buy me a coke ;) 
> 
> **Ransom:** ;) ;) ;) 
> 
> **Shitty:** guys please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued."


	3. BLAZE IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chowder loves everyone. So. Much.

**group chat: smh 14/15 (aka meal organizing tbh what else do we use this chat for)**

> **Chowder:** YOU GUYS 
> 
> **Chowder:** YOU GUYS I JUST 
> 
> **Chowder:** I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT LO
> 
> **Chowder:** I LOVE YOU ALL 
> 
> **Chowder:** SO MUCH 
> 
> **Shitty:** you ok, buddy? 
> 
> **Chowder:** DUDE I’M SO GOOD 
> 
> **Holster:** you do you, kid 
> 
> **Chowder:** BUT ALSO WHERE AM I??? CAIT WENT TO THE RESTROOM AND NOW THE STARS ARE MY ONLY FRIENDS
> 
> **Jack:** Where are you, Chris? 
> 
> **Chowder:** are there turtles in the lake? 
> 
> **Chowder:** i hope there are but also they’d be so cold????? in the winter????????
> 
> **Jack:** I don’t think there are turtles in the lake, Chris 
> 
> **Jack:** We’re going to come find you, OK? Just let us know where you are.
> 
> **Chowder:** i dreamed there were turtles in the lake ….. so many turtles????
> 
> **Holster:** this is kinda so cute what the fuck 
> 
> **Chowder:** You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles…
> 
> **Ransom:** and we love you, buddy, but we need to know where you are if we’re gonna come find you
> 
>  

**group chat: everyone leave bitty alone he’s studying**

> **Shitty:** ok correct me if i’m wrong but i’m pretty sure chow is high as a kite and also on campus alone somewhere 
> 
> **Shitty:** IT’S A 4/20 MIRACLE
> 
> **Jack:** Surely not? We’ve got optional skate at 7.
> 
> **Holster:** …… that has literally never stopped anyone before
> 
> **Jack:** I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that.
> 
> **Jack:** Read that? 
> 
> **Ransom:** honestly it might be interesting to see how this affects his reflexes
> 
> **Ransom:** NOT THAT I’M SAYING THIS SHOULD BECOME A HABIT, JACK I’M SURE UR TYPING RN 
> 
> **Jack:** Please don’t encourage him
> 
> **Ransom:** [nailed it]
> 
> **Holster:** did he look ok? i feel like we would all know the excruciating details if he’d done this before
> 
> **Holster:** … ergo i don’t think he has
> 
> **Shitty:** idk 
> 
> **Shitty:** but honestly my biggest concern is that bitty hasn’t responded yet 
> 
> **Shitty:** ……… bits? 
> 
> **Jack:** He’s studying so maybe he’s put his phone away? 
> 
> **Ransom:** WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE JUST SHOUT AT HIM
> 
> **Bitty:**  UM I JUST ……….. EXCUSE ME???????????????? BRB

 

**group chat: baking requests**

> **Bitty:** guys i’m not mad i just need to know where he is pls n thank
> 
> **Dex:** Literally what are you talking about 
> 
> **Nursey:** i haven’t killed dex i swear 
> 
> **Nursey:** lmao we must have been texting at the same time ily bro 
> 
> **Dex:** Literally no-one thinks you’re funny
> 
> **Nursey:** :((((((((((((((
> 
> **Bitty:** (we’re going to have a chat about death threats later) but for now where is chris????? 
> 
> **Dex:** Um I think he was hanging with Cait’s crew tonight in the quad maybe? 
> 
> **Dex:** Also literally what death threat??
> 
> **Bitty:** NO TIME CHAT LATER BYE LOVE YOU BOTH
> 
> **Chowder:** I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!

 

**group chat: smh 14/15 (aka meal organisation tbh what else do we use this chat for)**

> **Chowder:** i just want to say from the bottom of my heart …… i love you all
> 
> **Chowder:** i love this team 
> 
> **Chowder:** i just 
> 
> **Shitty:** bitty’s coming for you, kid. just hold tight k??
> 
> **Shitty:** you feeling ok? 
> 
> **Chowder:** dude, i just feel great. i love life so much and i love you. love. love. so much love.
> 
> **Shitty:** ditto, buddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles…" and also "Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love."

**Author's Note:**

> I can also be found on [Tumblr](http://murrayhewitt.tumblr.com).


End file.
